run the world girls

tomorrow it's his birthday. he's now on leave back to johor. coming back to KL on wednesday. tonight sure party like there is no tomorrow bcoz it's his 30th birthday. once in a lifetime, man. hope he won't get drunk n drive bcoz there is a girl caring for in KL, waiting for him to come back to pass her the customers cheques n also some or maybe a little opportunity to peek at him n to speak to him or listen to him 'singing' with the logistic manager! last thursday, a girl was so daring to wish him "happy early birthday". then, friday get to see him again but it just a peek. why she wished him so early bcoz he is busy. he will suddenly "dissappear" from the office. so the girl doesn't want to miss any golden opportunity n also since, it is almost month end. everybody in office is very busy, trying finish all the last minutes outstanding work n preparing for the new month. he just an ideal man. dress up well, gentleman, loaded, n has a car.

hehehaha.....hehehaha......hehehaha

i don't feel sad or sorry or bad for myself that i have osteonecrosis femoral head. i still being the old myself that love to laugh, being happy n making fun of my way using crutches to walk. i never ever think of commit suicide if i have problems bcoz i believe there is a way to solve all these problems. it is just take times so why don't while i'm looking for the solutions in the mean time i also enjoy the fun of looking for the solutions n the fun of solving the problems too! that's way life will always be fun, happy n interesting! committing suicide is very troublesome! bcoz when u r gone, ur family, relatives, n friends will get the blames or embarrassments, polices or the medias will always come to questions them harrassing their privacy etc. there is a saying said "even u r sad or happy, life has to move on. so why don't u be happy n live on" so people, u gotta think creatively in your life n also being bold. learn everything even it is against your religion BUT MAKE SURE IT IS NOT AGAINST YOUR HEART & THE LAW.

today went to see my orthopaedic again. he had discussed with his fellow colleagues n friends who r orthopaedics too from other hospitals. some of them said nothing can be done to both of my legs. while, some said same as my orthopaedic has told us is to do the surgery for my right leg only. where they will drill a hole at the right thigh bone till the femoral head. as possible as they can, remove as much as they can of the dead bone part n stuff the new bone (taken from outside of the pelvis) into the drilled part but the chance of healing is 50% bcoz it is like sort of transplant surgery. eg. a patient had undegoes a kidney transplant, there's will be a probability that his or her body will reject the kidney. it's up to my body that can accept the new bone or not. the doctor said is not my fault if my body doesn't accept.

i only could undergo total hip replacement if my condition is very very serious that i've couldn't able to walk. but i still can walk with little bit of pain, so he only suggest when i'm old then, have the hip replacement yeah, put the metal ball inside. i had appointment with him again after 6 months. right now, no squatting, no walking too long, no carrying/putting weight or pressure on my both legs, no standing too long n yes to using crutches to walk. yeah, i've become an OKU!

i have search for informations about my problem on the internet. it is know as "osteonecrosis femoral head or AVN" (for more info pls go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avascular_necrosis)

haiiz2........

according to the MRI report, both of the thigh bones, the round shape part already 40% damaged but the left side is more serious where it has collapsed n cannot be lifted back. so the orthopaedic says there is not much benefit to fix the left 1. the right 1 still has chance to fix it by drilling a hole into the bone to take out all the damaged part n then, take some healthy bone from the pelvis n stuff it inside the thigh bone. the orthopaedic said he let's think first about having the surgery n in the mean time, he will discuss with his collegues for another options. next week i'll have appointment with him again. in the future, i'll be walking limping as i can't put pressure on the left thigh anymore or else it will collapse more. that's mean i can't get pregnant, learn advance yoga or learn hip-hop dance........my whole world is shattered.

haiiz........

i hope this time i can know n understand very well the causes of my legs pain also cure it RIGHT AWAY! to be more details, it is the outside part of my both knees that hurt n also, my inner thighs muscle is hurt. yes, i did went to gym n did strenuous exercises for 6-7 months n then, i've stopped bcoz the membership has ended after a month of free-gym, the pain suddenly occur at my left leg only while the right leg was fine. that time, i've to walk limping n that leg has no any strength to walk up the stairs so i need to use my right leg to go up the stairs. step by step. after a month, my right leg had that pain too in meanwhile, my left leg hasn't recover yet! i've been to the orthopaedic. had my knee part being x-ray but it was fine then, he referred me to undergo physiotherapy n no any improvement. right now, i hardly can have good postures when standing, sitting, walking n sleeping. i'll definitely will slouch n i'll have backache. whenever i tried to straight up my body, my legs hurt as my thighs n knees muscle r being pulling. i feeling like an old person now with legs pain. it is so frustrating!!!! i wanna learn hip-hop dance, advance yoga n many stuff more but i gotta delay them...... my dreams T_T!!!! i can't even do my daily basis well such as wearing n changing my pants, stocking, shoes etc!!!!

Nokia C5

Planing to get a new handphone. I really need a phone with camera!!!! so i can capture any interesting moment instantly!!! so my eyes is on this..........

Optimistic qoutes

"If u can't make it better, u can laugh at it"

"All work and no play make Penny a dull girl"

"It is never too late-never too late too start all over, never too late to be happy"

"A healthy attidude is contagious but don't wait it to catch from others, be a carier"

These are some of the qoutes that i follow to lead my life.

Niji Iro Basus (Rainbow colour bus)

happy birthday to meeeeeeee......
celebrated this year birthday in memorable way which is also my FIRST day of workin a new company!!! (yay!!) the company is call ASSAB, a Swedish steel company located at Batu Caves, near my house, as a assistant admin in the finance department which i have no any knowledge about finane but luckily, i will handle those admin stuff only......guess what? what? what? WHAT?!! my exec also name 'Penny' (-_-!). I will be reporting to her so it's like penny reporting to penny or penny under penny hehehe..... get it? of course i won't be using my name 'penny' while working at ASSAB, instead i use 'phuah'.

I CAN'T BELIEVE, CAN'T BELIEVE!!!! why this year chinese new year break is short?!!! why it has to start on 3rd of feb (thursday)?!!! it should start on sunday or monday so the rest of the week will be the cny break!!! this year is my year which is the rabbit year n I'M BORN IN THE YEAR OF RABBIT TOO (BOO!)

i'm a prisoner of love

wanna meet u so badly~
wanna hug u,
wanna kiss u,
wanna hold u,
wanna listen to ur voice,
do u feel the same too?

i hope there will be a space for me in ur heart,
i hope u will think of me anytime either u r happy or sad,
we can start it all over again

Food~

Am craving for dim sum, spaghetti with tomato sauce, steamed duck, loh mai kai!!!!

Healing a Broken Heart

hi, just had a first break up from my first love (gosh, too old for that isn't it?) been together for 3 years and suddenly he called it off because he had made a girl pregnant (fucker!). i just like any other normal person that had break up will suffer from some symptoms:
1)lose of appetite
2)often check on handphone whether there is miss call or sms from him
3)call him a lot of times
4)terrorism messages
5)depress
6)cry myself to sleep every night
7)constantly rehearsal what to say if bump into him

i know it is not worth to shed my tears or him. he will get his karma one day!! i try to stay strong by remembering those chinese saying "when those bad stuff doesn't leave, how do the good stuff will come", other saying are "every cloud has a silver lining" (IT IS TRUE!), "when there is a will, there is a way", "listen to your heart" and "do the right things"

when i in my sad mode, i come to realise that i wasn't the most pity person in the world. there are people are more pity those who has been dating for 10 years but they split, those celebrities' shameful break up story is all around the world etc. so as i'm searching online for some healing from break up tips, i found this quite useful Healing a Broken Heart

Another new blogger joining the team!

new blog for me (again!). this time i will be blogging constantly! i'm now experiencing my new life, new job, new me being more mature and new environment! i created this blog so as an alternative way to let out my feeling (ranting!) and problem as i have very little people to turn to.... most of them are busy with their own lifes and problems probably even more serious than mine!! also i'm an introvert, definition taken from http://giftedkids.about.com/od/glossary/g/introvert.htm

"An introvert is not simply a person who is shy. Shyness has an element of apprehension, nervousness and anxiety. Basically, an introvert is a person who is energized by being alone and whose energy is drained by being around other people.

Introverts are more concerned with the inner world of the mind. They enjoy thinking, exploring their thoughts and feelings. They often avoid social situations because being around people drains their energy.

When introverts want to be alone, it is not, by itself, a sign of depression. It means that they either need to regain their energy from being around people or that they simply want the time to be with their own thoughts. Being with people, even people they like and are comfortable with, can pevent them from their desire to be quietly introspective.

Being introspective, though, does not mean that an introvert never has conversations. However, those conversations are generally about ideas and concepts, not about what they consider the trivial matters of social small talk."

hope u guys have a new look on introvert people now!